Yesterday wiped me out. I think I slept more than I was awake if I’m being honest, though I don’t love admitting that sort of thing. Part of me thinks it was depression. Another thinks it might have been the amount of sugar I consumed the day before. An even bigger part doesn’t want to admit to the sugar overload. Because then I might have to take a serious look at my consumption habits and do the hard work that comes with trying to be healthy.
But I guess if it prevents me from doing anything other than picking the best place to nap, it might be worth it to try to at least reduce my sugar intake. Maybe.
Sometimes I wonder if we continue to do the things we know aren’t good for us because we’re stuck, too lazy to change, or completely incapable of it. I know sugar isn’t the only bad habit I’m cultivating—especially when it comes to writing. But trying to address it all doesn’t always result in the changes I hope to make. There are times when it’s just easier to order out or reach for the cookies than it would be to cook a nice meal or eat a carrot stick.
I could chalk it up to life being short and wanting to enjoy myself, but that’s not totally fair either. Because eating sugar doesn’t always result in the enjoyment I think it will. Yet I’m far likelier to give in to those cravings than I am to fight them. You could say I lack the necessary will or self-discipline. But I think people who jump to those conclusions often see the argument as too black and white.
Life is a mess of grey areas. There’s only one way to muddle through (in my opinion). That’s to continually ask yourself if you’re spending your time doing the things you want to do. And to readjust according to everything you learn along the way.
Which I guess means I should re-evaluate my sugar intake. Shit.
(# Of words I wrote for my manuscript today: 305)