In this moment, I feel like nothing I’m doing matters. Like this blog is silly and unimportant and will never be read by anyone (never mind my fiction). Like I’ll be stuck forever in my job, my pain, my inability to write more than 300 words at a time.
I feel trapped.
And the worst part is, I’m trapped by my own damn mind. If I were more uncomfortable with being stuck in my comfort zone than I am afraid of leaving it. If I could just believe in myself a little more. Trust in my own abilities. Shut up the parts of me forcing myself to play small.
Maybe then I’d have a chance.
But right now it doesn’t feel like I’m able to listen to that small voice within. Like I’m able to drown out the noise of the world. It feels more like I’d be better off letting everyone else direct me into the life they see fit.
I just have to remind myself that moments pass.
(# Of words I wrote for my manuscript today: 315)